Summer is going way too fast for me, how about you? I had ALL these plans----and I see them evaporating before my very eyes.
I think more than anything, time is the most precious commodity. It's fleeting.
It's progression is unstoppable.
And when you notice, it tends to be too "late"...
I've been soul searching these past few weeks, and I think I've come to the conclusion that I just plain want to feel happy all the time. ALL the time. I don't want to feel impatient with my kids when it takes 45 minutes to get dressed and brush teeth. I don't want to feel upset and angry when I walk in to a messy house with dishes piled high in the sink. I don't want to feel pressure of "finishing that project" because I need to sell it or turn it in for review. I don't want my kids to grow up and think I wasn't fully available to them. More than anything, that is my number one job- to instill confidence and self awareness for them to have a successful life. Do my personal goals really matter? Do I have the right to "want more" for myself, being that I am a Mother? When I say want I mean achieving things, goals, scratching things off my bucket list. I have never been a lover of "things". Material possessions don't enamor me, they never have-which is why I de-clutter my house every few months and give things away that later I sometimes wish I hadn't...
I'm blabbering on here, but seriously-- it's come to this.
Keep on with the biz, or stop ...
I just don't know anymore.
I want to write a book. I want to sew every day. I want to run in the mornings without feeling pain the rest of the day. I want to make things that make people feel happy, no matter what it is- cooking, sewing, quilting, a photo.... I want joy.
I want my kids to feel the freedom of childhood fully. I think I did that really well in England, but here it's become this tedious repetition of everyday life- "hurry up!" "get ready faster Mommy's gotta go to work!" "Let's GOOOOOOO!" "Pick that up!" "Where is your homework?!" I hear myself and I want to puke.
I want the freedom to go anywhere, to show them that this is not "it".
I'd carry our passports in my Alpaca passport wallet too. (heehee)..
In effort of getting rid of possessions, I decided to stop buying fabric for a while and use everything up. I do this every so often and it feels good. I have been making a bunch of smaller items to list in my shop, when I get to it....
The process is long, stitch, take photos, edit them, list on Etsy, ship, etc... I mean, it's not easy folks. That's why a home run biz takes so much investment. That's what kills my soul when people are "can you give me a discount?".... No, I really can't.
I do not want to sound like a negative Nelly! I figure you can scroll past the type if you're sick of me by now.
I had to get this off my chest, and I can't see a therapist right now because I work with all the best ones, and if they know how crazy I am they might not talk to me at work. That would make me cry. LOL <3 nbsp="" p="">
I finally finished the large size eyeball quilt, and was planning to write a free pattern for both the mini and large sizes. I don't know yet if that will happen.
It seems when I finish, I have all these tweaks that I want to make, it's never perfect.
Sort of soul crushing if you're a dramatist like I am.
Everyone is watching, but no one "sees".
That's where this quilt came from. I notice a lot, like freakishly a lot. I call it my 7th sense because I have a 6th sense too. LMAO
Human interaction, the nuances of how people really don't listen, and how we all are just fumbling around in this puzzle like a matrix befuddles me. I mean, there is really no other explanation of how an awful human being like Trump could get the GOP nomination. If you disagree, don't comment here, because you're wrong. #justsaying
I listed some slimline wallets in the shop. In case you need a quick gift or selfie gift. ;)
My blocks are not perfect, and I'm okay with that. I squeeze them in between making dinner, herding the kids, stopping fights, and taking the dog out for a sh*t. So deal.
I cut into my precious Liberty fabric stash too, for these little clutches. I'll be listing them (I hope) before Christmas. ;)
No, I'm not kidding.
I want to look at them a little longer and pet them a bit.
On my radar:
1. Tour de Freeport Sep 24th in my hometown, Pretzel City. My soul sister Amy has been so active in bettering our hometown, a thankless job mostly. Every time I see a post about artistic things going on there, my heart explodes. Recently the Freeport Art Museum hosted a workshop for making cardboard creatures-- made by kids from the NCS Youth Home:
2. Anne's poetry:
Every time I read Anne Sexton she slays me. I keep a book of her poems by my bed just so I can shed a tear or two (hundred) ...
3. Tiny Homes
I could totally live in a tiny home, as long as there is room for my sewing machine. :D
I know I'm not the only person who dreads paying the mortgage bill.
A tiny home would be sort of nomadic too, right? I don't know how taxes work out, but I am going to research this.
4. Rock Display tutorial
My Ruby has a huge rock collection, so it's time to make a display. She has several tool boxes filled now with "things" she finds outside. I thought this display was really cool:
5. Star Gazing road trip list
6. Solar string lights
Wouldn't these be fantastic strung along an outdoor arbor or swing, or even laying in the flower bed?
I'm obsessed with little lights. I have those string light things above my kitchen cupboards, love them.
I splurged and ordered some leather to play with this week, (no, not like that-) so here is my latest zip top bag with a leather shoulder strap. I really really love this style so much. I am making a few more from toned down fabrics so my "normal friends" can have a selection as well. This fabric is Hula Girls by Alexander Henry (I die over his fabric)-- and has a large zip pocket inside with a couple more slip pockets outside. It closes with a heavy duty zipper at the top.
Measures approx 17" x 22" (big).